J-Soft Blog

Saturday, February 01, 2003

Practice. It was always a chore, just like any other unwanted thing to do. So I didn't do it, and so, I remained for the longest time, and still am, a mediocre player. But, it is not a chore anymore. I like doing it. I enjoy my practice sessions, even the crummy ones, of which there are many. I don't think I have had a really superb practice session, one which made me stop and think, "hey, I'm getting better at this stuff. I have truly never played so well before. I should practice again tommorow" since September or October. That is not to say there aren't good ones, great ones even, just not superb ones. I enjoy them. There is always the hope that suffering through the crummy today will improve things tommorow.

September and October really were something else. There was the perception that I had broken through a barrier that I had been pushing against without affect for years. Everything seemed to be working. Air was flowing, and lips were buzzing with ease. I was able to push towards the limits of my range without feeling like I would fall off the note at any moment. I could not only land on the notes, but finally make some music up there. At the same time my range leaped, probably by about a (minor)third. For the longest time, if I was able to scrape out a D in my practice routine I was satisfied to call it a really good practice session. Now, all of a sudden, I was consistently getting out solid sounding F's almost daily, with less frequent forrays as high as a G. Not only that, but my low register was speaking well, something I had been struggling with over the previous year, fuzzy low notes. It was a revelation. It wasn't to last. November saw all this dissappear back where it came from. The air stopped flowing with ease, the lips went on union breaks. Suddenly, it was all hard work again. I think I have pulled up slightly from the duldrums of November, but I'm still searching, trying to find what it was I found in the fall. Hoping to find it, and keep it, and build on it.

November felt awful. It was awful because the memory of September and October was so fresh. The feeling of having taken a leap forward, and then a leap and a stride backward. I'm sure that this frustration only added to the problem. Had september and october been really crummy months, crummier than november, and november had been as it was, I would have felt great about november. I would have thought "Hey, this is great. Now I'm getting somewhere". September and october were kind
of like standing on top of the summit of the mountain you've been climbing for the longest time. Now, I'm clinging to the summit with my bare hands. Hopefully I can pull myself back up. Of course, if I ever manage to stand at the summit long enough I will the discover the vast expanse of mountain I have yet to climb that had been concieled by clouds while I clung.



(Mountain analogy count: 2)
posted by Jesse at 1:35 AM #